Swap
by Usemychopsticks
Summary: After an incident on the battlefield the Autobots and the Decepticons end up switching bodies with each other. Some are trying to find a way out of this mess. Others are planning to use this to their advantage...


**Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers.**

**Summary: After an explosion on the battlefield gone wrong, some of the Autobots and the Decepticons wake up switched in each others' bodies.**

**Chapter 1:**

Bluestreak had the inkling that something was wrong the second he woke up. First of all he was not where he was originally, when Wheeljack's newest invention blew up (Totally expected) and knocked him unconscious. Second, his gun was nowhere to be found and instead a gyro blaster was attached to his arm. Third, and the most obvious clue, was that his paintjob was completely wrong and his door wings were missing.

There was a puddle of water nearby, from the rain the other night, and he crawled over to look at his reflection. To the gunner's absolute horror instead of twin blue optics gazing back at him, there were purple ones.

_Oh sweet Primus! I've become Swindle! _

Hurriedly he backed away from the puddle and attempted to recall the events that lead him to be stuck in the body of the Decepticon entrepreneur.

**Flashback:**

Bluestreak took careful aim and fired off a shot, which hit Bonecrusher in the shoulder as he was advancing on Brawn. Everyone had been doing well on their own so far, so he hadn't really been needed, but he kept alert. At least until he heard a _FWOOSH _behind him and narrowly rolled away to avoid a shot by Skywarp.

"Look what we have here" the seeker disappeared in a flash of purple and Bluestreak turned around expecting to see him reappear behind him. Sure enough he did, and Bluestreak fired off one shot sending Skywarp backwards cursing.

While he was busy with the purple seeker, he didn't see his wingmate fly above him and was surprised when Starscream started to attack him. He dove for cover behind a few rocks, which were beginning to wear away from the null ray shots.

"HYAH!" Bluestreak took a guess that it was Sideswipe, who had launched himself at Starscream, therefore, stopping the volley of shots aimed at him. He saw Skywarp getting up so he dashed across to another area concealed with rocks to snipe there.

SMASH! He was sent flying backwards. Lady luck wasn't looking down on him that day was she? Brawl took massive glee in the dent he'd made in Bluestreak's face and prepared for another assault. Bluestreak got up and prepared to fight himself. He wasn't proficient in any physical combat, but he hoped that his sniping would save him from a thrashing. A part of him was also counting on the Comabticon's stupidity.

In the distance he could hear a whirling sound, which he guessed, was Wheeljack's new cannon powering up. He'd programmed it to disrupt all the senses of the Decepticons, and was ecstatic when Prime gave him the go ahead to test it during battle. There was a bet speculating whether it would function properly. The odds: 36 to 2.

Wheeljack was yelling in a panicked tone. It looked like the odds had won. Bluestreak could faintly hear him telling everyone to duck, before a bright light engulfed the entire battlefield, followed by an explosion that sent him flying back into the rocks, and into oblivion.

**End Flashback:**

Bluestreak decided it had to have been a malfunction with the cannon. That was the only plausible explanation. He wondered if it had happened to anyone else, and would that mean Swindle was stuck in his body? Vaguely his situation reminded him of a movie he'd watched, but he was too panicked to remember its name off the top of his head.

_I could go back to the others and try and have Wheeljack fix this. But what if they don't realize it's me and start shooting! They might not even believe me when I tell them it's me, and it'll be even worse if the cons find me first! Oh Primus what am I going to do?_ He was interrupted in his thoughts when his—er—Swindle's comm. pinged.

"Swindle where the frag are you? If you're listening to this you slagger Megatron's called a retreat twenty breem ago and Onslaught's blowing a gasket trying to find you!"Brawl roared and Bluestreak winced. He was confused at how to respond. Bluestreak didn't know much about a gestalt bond, but from what he could gather they could sense things each other. What if he said the wrong thing and they figured out it wasn't their teammate.

"Uhh…" he began, but someone else joined the channel.

"Found 'im Brawl" a shadow loomed over him and he turned to see Vortex. He swore a malevolent smirk was plastered across the helicopter's faceplates. Bluestreak hoped he was wrong. Maybe it was the fact that Vortex was at least a head taller than him.

From then on he always thought Swindle resembled a hobbit in height.

He also wondered how the heck Swindle was able to read his gestalt mate's faceplates, as the malevolent smirk could've as easily been a happy grin to him. Albeit a very…. creepy grin.

"So Swindle what happened? We've been comming you forever and that wound wouldn't cause you to shut down" Bluestreak then realized there was a gash on his arm leaking a bit of energon. A dull pain emitted from it.

"Y-yeah that blast from um the Autobot inventor's weapon knocked me out" he replied praying that Vortex wouldn't sense something wrong. Alas he was wrong as Vortex tilted his head in what must have been a quizzical look. His quick and stuttering attempt to answer quickly most likely differed from Swindle's smooth fast talking voice.

"Hey don't look at me like that I'm fine. Just a bit shaken up that's all" he said calmly forcing himself not to babble, though the urge was rising.

"Both of you hurry up. Everyone's back at base by now" Onslaught's irritated voice resounded over the channel.

"Yeah about that, I left something back on the battlefield and I need to go get it," Bluestreak thought of an excuse for him to leave, "I'll meet you guys back at the base".

"Swindle"

"Yes?'

"Shut up and get your afts over here"

"O-okay"

He and Vortex walked back to the destroyed power plant the Decepticons had been ransacking. Brawl, Blast Off, and Onslaught were waiting. Onslaught and Brawl were both covered in mud. The latter was flicking flecks of it, which had dried, off his armor and the former was attempting to look as dignified as a mech could when he was covered in vile Earth guck. Blast Off looked smugly amused.

"You two took your sweet time. Let's go" they all activated their boosters and took to the air. All except Bluestreak.

"The frag is it now Swindle" Onslaught was not in the mood.

Bluestreak very well couldn't say he didn't know how to activate his boosters. Did he need to say a magic word or was there some special code? The four Combaticons looked at him expectedly before Vortex spoke.

"Ons I think his boosters are busted" their leader sighed irritably.

"Then carry him and let's head back" Vortex flew down to him and swept his feet out from under him. Bluestreak yelped in surprise as he dangled in the air and the copter grinned wickedly, before they all took off towards the Nemesis.

_Bad day…._

* * *

The first thing Blitzwing saw when he woke up was the Protectobot medic, First Aid. So he promptly punched him in the face and was rewarded with a wrench to his head.

"The frag was that, Bumblebee?" Ratchet snapped.

_Bumblebee? What's this fool talking about! _He thought before he looked in the shiny surface of a medical tray right beside him. His paintjob was now entirely yellow, with short horns, and two blue, innocent optics stared back at him.

Blitzwing hurriedly made the most horrid face he could think of to erase that image.

"Bee are you okay?" First Aid asked tentatively.

"Yeah" he gritted out, "just peachy".

Until he could figure out what the frag had happened it was best not to let the Autobots know who 'Bee' really was. So that meant, to his infinite displeasure, acting like that pleasant, annoying, overly friendly yellow bug.

"Well you can leave now. You only had minor wound, which was good. Sorry about Ratchet. You know how he is whenever one of the twins comes in banged up. Drives him crazy" the CMO shot his apprentice a look.

Blitzwing hopped off of the medical table and headed towards the door. He could feel Ratchet's gaze at the back of his head as if he could see right through the former triple changer. He quickly exited and ran down the hall as far as possible from the medbay. Now that he was alone, he could try and figure a way out of this mess.

"Hey Bumblebee!" a cherry voice called out. Blitzwing twitched.

_In the name of Primus please don't let that be…_ he turned around to face Spike. _The fleshbag._

A sudden urge to squish the creature rapidly rose up in him. _Don't do it Blitzwing! You can squish the freak once your back in your own body _he told himself.

"Come on everyone's waiting" the boy gestured for him to follow along.

"For what?"

"For you dude! Remember the hockey game that you guys started before the Deceptiscum attacked!" he led the way to the Ark's training room, which had been transformed into an impromptu floor hockey arena.

"Bee there you are man, come on!" Jazz thrust a transformers sized hockey stick at him and dragged him onto the arena. Blitzwing took in who was on each team.

The first team consisted of him, Brawn, Sideswipe, Powerglide, Air Raid, and Jazz. The second team though only had Sunstreaker and Ironhide.

"Gonna cream you Bro!" Sideswipe called to his twin.

"Keep on dreaming Sides, keep on dreaming"

"We're just waitin' for the rest of ahr team," Ironhide said. The door opened again and everyone turned.

"Here they come"

Grimlock and the Dinobots sans Swoop, who Blitzwing noticed was in the air acting as the referee, entered.

"Me Grimlock ready to kick butt!" he took his place right across from Blitzwing and looked absolutely menacing.

Well slag…

This was just dandy wasn't it?

**End Chapter.**

**So how was it? Did I suck? Was my grammar/spelling horrible? Was the humor dry? Critiques are welcome.**

**On a side note, does anybody know a website that lists all the Transformers' weapons? I only know knowledge from fics I've read and I really don't want to keep referring to their weapons as "his gun" , "their gun", "your gun", etc. If you can give me a link, then thanks.**

**Here's thanks to **_**Shoshana17**_**'s fic ****A Transformers' Fanfic Dictionary****, which I used to figure out Cybertronian time measurements. Check it out it's handy.**


End file.
